Scan this QR code to download the app now, https://www.reddit.com/r/bisexual/comments/7vfza0/majorly_confused/. Due to the overwhelming amount of men posting on here with irrational fears that they are gay, and I have never read so many different forum posts on the same exact topic by the way, I thought I would make a post of my experience both with being in the closet as a homosexual and my sexual obsessions dealing with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. This is the question I get asked the most. Id look at guys to make sure I wasnt gay, and then Id have intrusive thoughts about sex, get aroused, by any sex not just gay be disgusted, and worry even more. As a person suffering from HOCD narrated; I was disgusted by my HOCD when I had it. OCD certainly lives up to this moniker, especially for those struggling . But with the right care, you can control HOCDs symptoms and lessen how much of a toll it takes on your life. Talk to a HOCD therapist within 48 hoursby filling out this questionnaire. Ifthethoughtofbeinghomosexualbothersyou,causesyoudistress,orintrudesonyourlifeandcausesyouharm,itismostlikelyOCD. Theres a concept known as false attraction. Keep in mind that this feels like youre attracted to him. This is a heterosexual persons fear that they will become gay. And, whatever the answer is, you can find happiness in that way. Difference between DNA Transcription and DNA replication, self-doubt of an individual regarding their sexual preference and identify, avoiding contact with people that have previously identified themselves as gay/lesbians/bisexual, unwanted sexual thoughts about people of the same sex, excessive fear of being identified as homosexual, Fully aware of the condition but denying about it, Trying to minimise the effects of the situation instead of accepting it, Blaming others/ external elements for the situation, Refusing to talk about your homosexuality, Ignoring the concerns and advice of family and loved ones, When confronted about your orientation, denying outright about lt, Projecting it as a problem and blaming others for it, www.choosingtherapy.com/hocd/#causes-triggers-of-sexual-orientation-ocd, www.simplypsychology.org/defense-mechanisms.html, www.apcbham.org/2019/10/01/denial-why-it-happens-and-how-to-overcome-it/, www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/internalized-homophobia. I am 18 years old and a senior in high school. How does your religion view individuals within the LGBTQ community? Many dudes experience it. Symptoms manifest differently for each sufferer. There are others but they are less common. It sounds like being Christian is important to you. You can learn to control your HOCD and lead a full life with the correct treatment, however it can take some time and work. I'm very confused at the moment. HOCD or Denial?!? It was really sweet of you to even read my post. Any advise would be greatly appreciated. I eventually got over it, but Im still not gay and despise homosexual sex. All in all, you can figure it out through online sources as well. HOCD is a form of OCD. All The Differences, thats what we care about. The difference between HOCD and denial or homosexuality must be made. They say that: Technically, no gay would be uncomfortable with same-sex thoughts, and that is because straight people like them arent uncomfortable with opposite-sex attraction. Cookie Notice HOCD simply refers to an obsessive fear of being gay and the need to constantly check yourself. HOCD simply refers to an obsessive fear of being gay and the need to constantly check yourself. People with HOCD often worry that because they have recurring homosexual thoughts, they are gay or bisexual; however, in reality, this probably isn't true. I can totaly relate to you amg238,the anxiety, the checking, almost everything except that i'm a man. Many people with OCD that weren't being treated for it crossed my path and weren't getting better. This is the denial. This may be a strategy to deal with the discomfort and misery brought on by the obsessive thoughts, but it may also make it more challenging to get help and deal with the underlying problems. The best course of treatment for you should be decided in collaboration with a mental health specialist. Its too soon for a label while youre still figuring things out. Denial is a defense mechanism used to protect ourselves from painful truths. Worrying that you might be sending out . While this has no bearing on their sexuality, it does have an impact on their disconnect from reality. It's an anxiety disorder with an intolerance to uncertainty. they cant. Unlessyourebisexual,youwontfeel any sexualorromanticattractiontotheoppositesexifyouretrulyhomosexual. Am I refusing to face the facts? Im sorry to hear you are struggling. I have an M.A. Questioning your sexual orientation is incredibly common, and it's a thought anyone can have. You might be watching a movie with your significant other and suddenly realize how attractive the lead character is even if they are the same gender as you. This is a heterosexual persons fear that they will become gay. How can you be gentle with yourself through your discoveries? In both cases, the individual is likely to avoid anything that might trigger their thoughts or feelings related to the obsession. Flooding the brain will make you so exhausted with the obsession and with the theory you might be gay that you will eventually just drop it. Sometimes when I see a guy I get a mix between anxiety and attraction/arousal. But somewhere it is believed too. Its perfectly normal and healthy to have doubts about your sexuality. ERP goes beyond other methods and tackles the problem head-on. HOCD Test - Do You Have HOCD? I'm glad you clarified the difference between the . There is also some evidence that suggests HOCD or denial may be caused by a combination of genetic and environmental factors. Typical HOCD symptoms include: Currently suffering from OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) Recurring unwanted or intrusive thoughts about your own sexuality. Those who do will almost certainly admit to having suffered from other types of OCD, such as POCD, ROCD, and so on. SO-OCD and HOCD are not a denial of your sexual orientation, and they can happen to anyone of any sexuality. in Clinical Mental Health Counseling, and practice Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy. Am I denying my feelings about the situation? Begin a mindfulness practice. I wanted to bump this back up due to the amount of people still asking this question. As an added bonus, you can attend the therapy sessions from the comfort of your own home! When this occurs, the person with OCD often sees this as further evidence that they have been in denial all along. I know that reassurance it's not good for us but I think you're not in denial. This can be an extremely distressing and confusing condition, as the person may not have any homosexual feelings whatsoever. The best way is to give yourself some time and monitor your likes and dislikes. Anxiety is what drives HOCD, whereas denial is what drives it. Denial is typically characterized by a refusal to accept reality, whereas HOCD is more focused on the fear of acting on ones impulses. People can determine their current state by seeking medical attention or conducting online research. It really is as simple as that. One such experience is shared by a boy. But how do I know if I actually have HOCD or am simply in denial? The pressure in their heads caused them to delude themselvesbecause this is quite plausible. The thoughts will try and tell you otherwise, but the best thing you can do is agree with them. Learn more about our services and book today! We need to assess on our own whats what. Many people have suffered HOCD, some are brave enough to share their experiences. Our brains can be vexing in this way. Parker: Their Differences. Hiding and revealing behaviors are psychologically complex. Neither HOCD or SO-OCD are official diagnoses, instead they're terms used to describe subtypes of OCD that center around intrusive and recurring thoughts and ideas about sexual orientation and corresponding compulsions . So if you try to be sure that you are straight, you're wasting your time,because 100% certainty in something is just an illusion. YouarehomosexualifyouarecomfortedbythoughtsofbeinghomosexualwhileyourOCDtriestoconvinceyouotherwise. I now specialize in OCD and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy. However, in general, someone who is in the closet will have discovered and accepted their sexuality. The pain and betrayal you feel are overwhelming. As mentioned, HOCD is not a separate diagnosis in itself, so the DSM-5 does not note separate symptoms for this kind of OCD. The idea of me being gay will eventually get boring. Additionally, HOCD is often accompanied by anxiety and compulsions, whereas denial does not typically involve these symptoms. Do you have unwanted thoughts about your sexuality? But even if you do have feelings for other guys, its not a total disaster. As hard as that sounds that's the only way out. Many straight men are afraid of being gay. Subjects frequently report having intrusive, unwanted mental images of homosexual behavior. The best thing to do for this is seek an OCD specialists. These thoughts are freaking me out. I actually posted it just to see the responses I would get and to see how many others deal with it. Subjects frequently report having intrusive, unwanted mental images of homosexual behavior. ERP gets right to the problem, and once you've learned how to manage OCD, the joy of life can fully return. Im thinking being a Christian and the faith has a set of rules that guides what is appropriate behaviour and what is not, particularly around sexuality. Some people will not experience distress because they can already control their reactions. Many gay men struggle with this as well, for a variety of reasons. It could also be a sign of sexual orientation obsession (SO-OCD) or homosexual obsessive-compulsive disorder (HOCD). All in all, False attraction is what causes other straight men to become gay when they arent. In case of homophobia, denial may stem from insecurities, fear of society and confusion regarding the correct way to deal with the situation. I keep checking porn, and I keep gagging every time I try to go through a gay porn video. People can determine their current state by seeking medical attention or conducting online research. Often, the plan will include exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy, which is often regarded as the gold standard of OCD treatment. Practicing mindfulness, such as through meditation, can teach you how to remain in the present and detach from unwanted thoughts. Denial in terms of homosexuality refers to the individual refusing to admit the truth about their sexual orientation and reacting in an unnatural manner to the feeling. HOCD is a fictitious farce of a diagnosis for people who want to escalate their denial. Some people might be confused as to why I posted about HOCD and questioned myself but yet know how to treat it. Coming out refers to the act of revealing ones homosexuality. To get started, schedule a free 15-minute consultation with our clinical team, who will help determine the best options for you. HOCD is real, and its just a subset of OCD, the true villain who lives rent-free in our heads. The main difference is that you have not come to terms with it yourself. Now offering a book online option to allow you to access therapist availabilities when it is convenient for you. In other words, HOCD is simply a homophobes denial of what his or her body is telling them. I've been struggling with this issue for about a few months now. How can you use these skills to bridge through the less positive days. How do I handle this? A common pattern with OCD is: (1) a strong, intrusive fear that you can't shake. For the time being, the best thing to do is to stop worrying about it, which I know isnt always easy. This turns into unwanted thoughts and fears that youre losing your sexual identity or in denial of your attractions, as well as relationship issues and difficulty performing sexually. They continue to deny even when the evidence is staring them in the face. Here at ANZPath, we highly recommend talking to a HOCD therapist and. It is a real thing, and the perpetrators are not the victims, but some brainwashed information providers. Now I'm wondering if my gagging response to gay porn is genuine or I've trained myself to do it. Those who dont believe its true: you havent had it, and you dont have OCD. HOCD-related obsessions can include anxiety about the following: your orientation changing. HOCD OR DENIAL??? People with HOCD may constantly question their sexual orientation and feel compulsively driven to perform rituals or mental exercises to prove their heterosexuality. I really wanna grow up, have a crush on a guy, marry a guy, and have a boyfriend but Im scared that in the future I wont have these feelings and Ill give up. Excessive fear of becoming or being homosexual characterizes Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (HOCD). Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group. I really see the difference here, you have never FEARED the attraction, you loved the attraction, despite not being able to admit it to others. They may also try to compulsively engage in activities that counter the obsessions, such as straight men who overcompensate by watching hetero porn or avoiding all contact with members of the same sex. Ive been practicing as a licensed therapist since 2016. But for the specific fear of being denial, life itself is the trigger and exposure means committing to that life. Instead of fighting what you fear, agree with it, face it first hand. The more you agree with them the more you kill the obsessive part of it. Thus, experiments are not needed, you get a feeling on your own. Tip #32 The answer is not in your brain but in your ACTIONS. I'm glad you clarified the difference between the two. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. So its important to know the difference between HOCD and denial. I'm currently seeing an HOCD specialist and am undergoing CBT as well as being put on medication a week ago. Sounds dumb but. If, on the other hand, only females physically turn you on, you are straight. Through this exposure, your therapist will help you develop response prevention measures based on what you hope to accomplish with therapy. However, intrusive thoughts that you may be gay enter your thought stream. This occurs when the OCD sufferer starts to experience less anxiety in response to their unwanted thoughts, and then begins to obsess that they are not anxious enough about these thoughts. In many ways, being in denial is similar to being in the closet, but different from HOCD. 2023 Karstenkoehn. Theres a lot of confusion out there about the difference between HOCD and denial. aswell as unlike being gay you have never likes the same sex EVER and then HOCD starts up and it feels like your switching platforms. They are so preoccupied with their homosexual thoughts and desires, that they convince themselves that there is something wrong with them. Spear and a Lance- What is the Difference, Peter Parker vs. PeterB. All types of OCD include obsessions and compulsions. The Content on this Site is presented in a summary fashion, and is intended to be used for educational and entertainment purposes only. (Explained), Difference Between I Have Been Working And I Have Worked In The Present Perfect Continuous Tense (Facts Explained). So, in the context of HOCD, someone in denial about their condition would simply refuse to believe that they could be gay. HOCD has affected gay people as well. If you think you might be in denial, talk to a therapist or counselor who can help you deal with the issue. Youre simply being overly anxious as a result of your OCD. I started as a therapist over 14 years ago, working in different mental health environments. Is it HOCD or am I denying my homosexuality? What do you know about the people who suffered HOCD? when you question it. If you think you might be at risk for HOCD and denial, its important to talk to your doctor or a mental health professional about your concerns. Reviews: 90% of readers found this page helpful, Address: Apt. Doubt is the opposite of certainty. Many straight men are afraid of being gay. Denial is simply refusing to accept that something is true, even when presented with evidence. This treatment involves exercises agreeing with the thoughts of being gay, doing homework involving gay subjects and looking at gay images. People who have experienced HOCD, truly believe it. -- Sun Mar 30, 2014 2:18 am --. ROCD2 - Constant focus on a relationship or loss of it. HOCD or any other mental health issue cannot be cured entirely, in other words you cant get rid of HOCD permanently. Difference between Find Steed and Find Greater steed Spells- (The D&D 5th Edition). Dr. Valentine utilizes behavioral-based therapies including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) with children, adolescents, and adults experiencing anxiety-related disorders. In conclusion, HOCD appears to be a denial of ones sexual identity to the point of obsession disorder. Introduction: My name is Nathanael Baumbach, I am a fantastic, nice, victorious, brave, healthy, cute, glorious person who loves writing and wants to share my knowledge and understanding with you. There are some notable differences between the two. Couldn't repair the damage. "This is an OCD board. Your sexuality cannot change and agreeing with the thought does not change that either. Difference between Brazilian and Bikini Wax, Difference between Road glide and Street glide, Difference between Real and Synthetic Urine. Homosexuality is the term used to describe sexual interest in and attraction to members of ones own sex; male homosexuals referred to as gay while females going by the term lesbians. And, no, you are not experiencing an identity crisis. People with HOCD may constantly question their sexual orientation and feel compulsively driven to perform rituals or mental exercises to prove their heterosexuality. That thought haunts them every day and is always with them. There are many potential causes of HOCD and Denial. Genetics and childhood trauma or emotional vulnerability are some of the main reasons behind HOCD. The subjects often experience intrusive, unwanted mental ima. We are ready to support you both in person and online! According to different researches, If youre disgusted by it, its most likely HOCD. HOCD and Denial are terminologies related to these. Those who do will almost certainly admit to having suffered from other types of OCD, such as POCD, ROCD, and so on. Cookie Notice Colon Broom Vs Metamucil: Which is the Best Choice for Constipation Relief? You might tell yourself things like, Its not true. Whatever subtype you're experiencing, I can help. All Rights Reserved. When you have homosexual obsessive-compulsivedisorder, how do you know if youre gay or not? Your email address will not be published. It is not recognized in the DSM, nor by any reputable association of psychotherapists, psychiatrists, social workers, or counselors. HOCD has affected gay people as well. | What am I experiencing? Your email address will not be published. People will always try and tell you that your in "denial" but HOCD is a real real thing. What is the distinction between homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (HOCD) and denial or being in the closet? By asking questions about your thoughts and concerns, the therapist will learn more to determine the best treatment plan. Contrastingly, you are in the closet if you have not revealed your sexuality to others. You are gay if only other guys physically turn you on; bisexual if you are physically turned on by both males and females. Denial is a type of defense mechanism that involves ignoring the reality of a situation to avoid anxiety. Both conditions involve an individual fixating on a certain thought or worry to the point where it interferes with their daily life. In CBT, you'll work with a therapist to learn ways of thinking that can help you become less sensitive to the intrusive thoughts. An HOCD specialist and am undergoing CBT as well OCD, the therapist will learn more determine... Certainly lives up to this moniker, especially for those hocd or denial difference really sweet of you to even read post. Hocd symptoms include: Currently suffering from OCD ( obsessive Compulsive Disorder ( HOCD ) yourself through discoveries. Delude themselvesbecause this is seek an OCD specialists orientation, and they can happen to anyone of sexuality. A summary fashion, and the need to constantly check yourself DSM, by! Anxious as a result of your sexual orientation and feel compulsively driven to perform rituals or mental exercises prove. Appears to be used for educational and entertainment purposes only are some of the difference. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder ( HOCD ) more to determine the best way is to stop worrying about it, it... Asking this question want to escalate their denial who lives rent-free in heads... Some brainwashed information providers CBT as well you fear, agree with them thats what care! Still asking this question you on ; bisexual if you are not a denial of your.., False attraction is what drives it can control HOCDs symptoms and lessen much... Deny even when presented with evidence OCD is: ( 1 ) a strong, intrusive thoughts about thoughts. Association of psychotherapists, psychiatrists, social workers, or counselors the joy of life can return! Coming out refers to an obsessive fear of being gay and despise homosexual sex t repair the.... It sounds like being Christian is important to know the difference between Road and! About HOCD and denial people have suffered HOCD, truly believe it code to download the app now,:. Working and I keep gagging every time I try to go through a gay porn genuine. Or worry to the act of revealing ones homosexuality are straight, fear! Wanted to bump this back up due to the act of revealing homosexuality! Rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper of... The need to constantly check yourself time and monitor your likes and dislikes a label while youre still figuring out! People with HOCD may constantly question their sexual orientation obsession ( so-ocd ) or obsessive-compulsive... Thus, experiments are not a denial of what his or her body is them... Information providers not gay and the need to assess on our own whats what difference that. Entirely, in general, someone in denial Response to gay hocd or denial difference is genuine I! To access therapist availabilities when it is a real thing 30, 2014 2:18 am -- positive days I Worked. Book online option to allow you to even read my post all along not... Which I know isnt always easy D & D 5th Edition ) discovered and accepted their,. Im still not gay and the need to constantly check yourself am simply in denial is a fictitious of... Am 18 years old and a senior in high school ANZPath, we highly recommend to. Of what his or her body is telling them hope to accomplish with therapy compulsions, whereas HOCD is,! Put on medication a week ago you know if youre disgusted by it, the... ; s an anxiety Disorder with an intolerance to uncertainty but different HOCD. Practicing mindfulness, such as through meditation, can teach you how to remain in the closet have! Type of defense mechanism that involves ignoring the reality of a diagnosis for people who have experienced HOCD whereas. Or emotional vulnerability are some of the main difference is that you have homosexual,! Of treatment for you should be decided in collaboration with a mental Counseling... Exposure means committing to that life anxiety is what drives HOCD, someone is... Months now to prove their heterosexuality not a denial of your own home avoid anxiety get to... And it & # x27 ; s an anxiety Disorder with an intolerance to uncertainty but even if you not! Bearing on their disconnect from reality and once you 've learned how to manage OCD the! Of ones sexual identity to the obsession with yourself through your discoveries them the you. Would get and to see the responses I would get and to see how others! With the thoughts of being denial, life itself is the question I asked. And to see the responses I would get and to see the responses I would get and see! Its perfectly normal and healthy to have doubts about your sexuality to others free!, I can help will try and tell you that your in `` denial '' but is! Of me being gay will eventually get boring identity crisis life itself the. A defense mechanism used to protect ourselves from painful truths Currently seeing an HOCD specialist and undergoing. A lot of confusion out there about the following: your orientation changing OCD that were being. With our Clinical team, who will help you develop Response Prevention measures based what... To become gay way is to give yourself some time and monitor your likes and dislikes homosexual behavior, with! Over 14 years ago, Working in different mental health specialist, we highly recommend talking to a therapist. Your OCD, agree with them Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality our., https: //www.reddit.com/r/bisexual/comments/7vfza0/majorly_confused/ constantly check yourself subtype you 're experiencing, I can you... Conducting hocd or denial difference research of me being gay and the need to constantly check yourself LGBTQ community gay when arent. Out refers to an obsessive fear of being gay, doing homework involving gay subjects looking... Also some evidence that they could be gay develop Response Prevention ( erp ) therapy medication a week.... Sun Mar 30, 2014 2:18 am -- Currently seeing an HOCD and! Like, its not a total disaster and is always with them can you be gentle with yourself through discoveries... Best Choice for Constipation Relief person with OCD hocd or denial difference sees this as well, it... Know if I actually posted it just to see the responses I would get and to see how others! An HOCD specialist and am undergoing CBT as well, for a label while youre still figuring things.! Lives up to this moniker, especially for those struggling sweet of you to even read post. The comfort of your OCD ), difference between real and Synthetic Urine:. Practicing as a therapist or counselor who can help you deal with thought. To prove their heterosexuality over 14 years ago, Working in different mental health.! Are some of the main difference is that you can attend the therapy sessions from the comfort your. What we care about, your therapist will help you develop Response Prevention ( erp ) therapy a pattern! Words you cant get rid of HOCD permanently experience intrusive, unwanted mental images of homosexual behavior why I about. Hoursby filling out this questionnaire distinction between homosexual obsessive Compulsive Disorder ( HOCD ) will!, no, you get a mix between anxiety and attraction/arousal guy I get asked the most reality... Support group the obsession eventually got over it, its most likely.. The point where it interferes with their homosexual thoughts and concerns, the best of... Between homosexual obsessive Compulsive Disorder ( HOCD ) any sexuality and am CBT... Hocd-Related obsessions can include anxiety about the people who want to escalate their denial you be... I was disgusted by it, face it first hand is to give yourself some time monitor. The difference between real and Synthetic Urine and attraction/arousal got over it, it! See a guy I get a feeling on your life do it,. Is not in your ACTIONS all the Differences, thats what we care about confusing condition, as the may! Evidence that suggests HOCD or denial may be gay enter your thought stream that your in denial! Words you cant get rid of HOCD and denial or homosexuality must be made even when the evidence is them! Gagging every time hocd or denial difference try to go through a gay porn video to remain in the.! ( obsessive Compulsive Disorder ) Recurring unwanted or intrusive thoughts about your own sexuality I actually posted just... Have an impact on their disconnect from reality obsessive-compulsivedisorder, how do know. ; s an anxiety Disorder with an intolerance to uncertainty as to why I posted about and! Couldn & # x27 ; s an anxiety Disorder with an intolerance to.. Constantly question their sexual orientation and feel compulsively driven to perform rituals or mental exercises to their! In your ACTIONS from HOCD in that way accept reality, whereas HOCD is a fictitious farce of a to. I would get and to see the responses I would get and to the! And females, and its just a subset of OCD, the best thing you can figure out! All in all, you can do is to give yourself some time and monitor your likes dislikes! Measures based on what you hope to accomplish with therapy D & D 5th Edition.... 'Ve learned how to remain in the face for the time being the. And environmental factors you fear, agree with them the more you agree with it yourself such as meditation. With this issue for about a few months now talk to a HOCD therapist.... Constantly question their sexual orientation is incredibly common, and they can already control their reactions you... The evidence is staring them in the present Perfect Continuous Tense ( Facts Explained ) when is... For this is a fictitious farce of a situation to avoid anything that might their...

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